My LiFe

Can I just reiterate how much I enjoy being on leave??? whee!!!!!!!!!!! haha… love that feeling of seeing the light peeking through my blinds and then thinking… hang on… i can go back to sleep….. shiok!!! but you know, being the workaholic that i am, i cant imagine being on permanent leave either…. it’s precisely cause the leave is sooo hard earned that i love every second of it!

i had a nice start to 2007 cause i’ve finally received news of my traineeship… i’m in! truly a dream come true…. not sure how many people will agree but it’s an awesome feeling being able to do what you truly enjoy doing. i mus say work is a very big part of my life and it’s just different, being able to head out in the morning actually feeling positive… looking forward to doing things i’m interested in and hanging out with people i enjoy talking to.

anyways, life is good. cny was fun… hanging out with my family was simply cool. Received lots of ang pow too although I think i’m getting a little too old for that =P dad also just celebrated his birthday and guess what we bought him… PLAY STATION THREE!!!! yeah! cannot wait for him to hook it up so i can put my dexterity skills to the test. sometimes, despite my “demure” attributes, i think i’m a tomboy at heart. how else can i explain my love for fast cars and action movies like blade 2 and tokyo drift? it’s heart stopping, racing my mini down the highway wiith the windows down and zipping between the other cars like a maniac…. hehe… my mom will so totally flip if she ever sees me on my zippy days. but knowing my dad, he’ll probably go… yeah! that’s my daughter over there! now you knoe where i got my racing genes from =)

went to cafe del mar recently and i mus say it’s an absolutely beautiful place to be in singapore. not many places in s’pore that you can sit back and just chill… nice set up with the beach and bar and all. and of course, it definitely helps to have a loved one sitting next to you… conscientiously chilling… as my better half will put it… hehe… it’s got very loungy music too… perfect setting for a quite dinner/ lunch for two. it’s even got these day bed/ canopy beds for people to hang out in. i highly recommend it to anyone looking for a place to escape the urban-ness of singapore.

okay…. time to hit the books in preparation for part 2 exams… the studying just never ends, does it? but at least it’s stuff i actually enjoy tickling my mind with… =)

Wow… hassit really been that long? A whole year has just flown by….Dont even feel ready to age another year! Haha… major self denial going on here.

You know, everywhere I turn I see lotsa articles on countdowns to “the best outfit”, “the best club”, “the hottest celeb couple” I guess I have my own list too….. of most significant events in my life for 2006!

I think top of the list has to be my commitment to religion…. haven said much about this before… But I will always rem 2006 as the year that I was baptised. Those who know me know that I was baptised quite soon after I started going to church. It’s pretty hard to explain how He has turned my life around and made me want to be a better person… not just for my own sake, but for the sake of others around me as well. At the heart of my faith is a centre of peace that has never been there before. A void that was filled, a stillness that allows me clarity of thought and soundness of mind… cliched as it may sound, life could not have been better without His guidance.

Of course, another special thing that happened this year is actually finding a better half =) Thinking of him brings a smile to my lips. And it’s really not the big things like a hundred red roses on Valentine’s day, or a big diamond ring that do it for me… it’s the small thoughtful gestures of his… tt show he’s thinking of me and appreciating me for being who i am…. imperfections and all, that make me truly happy. And you knoe, it’s not just receiving the attention and love that makes me happy but being fully aware that this is a blessing in itself, a privilege and not a due, that makes it even sweeter.

Passing exams and writing papers… a very big part of my fledgling career =) trying desperately to work hard for all its worth… we shall see the outcome of the efforts pretty soon. Interview results will be out early 2007… nervous… let’s just keep our fingers… and toes… crossed and hope for the best!

Friendships… a long year gone by with the occasional catch up with my good friends. Also the year that 2 of my good friends got hitched… we’ve shared so much together. One of them while I was in Melbourne… sharing stories about bgr and the like, and the other… a fellow ballerina in our sec sch days… who has seen me through all and I mean ALL my relationships. Haha…. people close to my heart, no doubt…. wishing them the very very best in their newfound marital bliss. Maybe I’m being very idealistic but I’m always very happy for people who settle down cause it means that they’ve really found someone to trust… which to me, is something worth celebrating… though I can think of many people who beg to differ =)

Probably also the year that I’ve had the best relationship with my folks… sitting at the breakfast/ dinner table catching up and telling them about the going ons in my life… are just all in a day’s work. And it’s really fun when they have their two cents worth to add or poke fun at me. And my sister is also back from the states for good which means I can run to her place for a major aunt agony session anytime now, instead of having to make long distance calls to thrash out my frustrations. Talk about warm fuzzy feeilngs…. =)

All in all, it’s been a good year… no… make that a great year… Hope all around can also feel the warmth and cheer …and head up… regardless of how bleak things may look, there’s always a silver lining….

Ever had that feeling where everything just feels so right? Fits together like pieces of a jigsaw, clicks into place effortlessly… seamless. And it’s truly a beautiful thing… to have a chance to surround myself with that feeling. Never felt that before and it’s a refreshing change from the usual heady rush which gradually dies down with time. It’s like a slow dance, gradually building up momentum… saving the best for last… growing old together…

Maybe it’s part of growing up or maybe it’s just the effect he has on me. Everyday is a new day that I look forward to… couldnt help writing a song about it really, cause I just can’t stop smiling everyday in his presence…

It’s early in the morning I can hear my clock go tick tock

I can hear the kettle whistling, the coffeemaker’s sounding

I can smell the flowers in the air

I can smell the breakfast cooking

The sun rays warm my face, I can feel your presence in my life

*Cause it’s a brand new day, full of love, full of life

Full of dreams to fulfill

And I know, and I know, it’ll be me and you… together… growing old together

Making every wish, every dream come true…*

As we’re cruising on the road, As we watch the world go by

Can you see the people dancing, can you hear the children singing

I can feel the beat in my life

I’ve a melody to sing to

Can you feel the beat within me, You’re the rhythm of my life

* Chorus

My sister thinks it sounds like a national day song cause it’s so chirpy and jingly. But who cares? Makes me happy singing it… =)

Perhaps it’s my imagination but life seems to be on a fast forward mode. Everywhere I go, people seem to be rushing around, going about their own busy little lives. Even in a job like mine, where we’re meant to care for others, the pace can get so overwhelming that we overlook the fine print. I’ve to catch myself ever so often to slow down and BREATHE.

M on leave at the moment and it’s rather refreshing to actually have time to finally wind down and relax. No early mornings for me for now… thank you very much. I just roll out of bed at 9. Even if I’m up at 7, I just lie there with my eyes closed and think… the feeling is just so zen it’s unimaginable.

Just got back from KL with diana. Gosh… we had the bestest time ever… shopping! I think I jus bought the entire Sungei Wang/ Lot 10/ Berjaya Times Square and carted it back to s’pore with me. All who have travelled/ shopped with me before will know my “potential” for emptying the store *grin* The best part of it all was actually shopping for other people… with my own money!! I bought my mom 2 handbags and a top, and a whole new outfit– right down to matching shoes and handbag for my sister. And Di and I bought presents for all our girlfriends!!

Dont know if it’s a hitting mid 20s syndrome or what but I’ve gone into this major reconnecting session with my girlfriends. We’ve always had a lot to share, a lot to gripe about together. But of late, there’s just this invisible thread of connection that strings us together. It’s almost telepathic. Di and I spent our last night in KL yakking about everything and nothing, and tonight, talking to Clam when she gave me a lift home, was a totally enlightening experience. I just love the way that I can always reconnect with some girlfriends even after a long time apart.

And it’s even more amazing when the connecting is with people I’ve never really been close to. I’m in the ward with Anu now and on our first day of work tog, we ended work in a hip cafe on orchard road gushing to each other about how we “totally know that feeling” And it’s really times like these when I truly appreciate my girlfriends. They’re like my island of sanity in this crazy world of relationships, emotions and work!

So OK, I’m starting to sound asexual and totally feminist *grin* but that’s not my stand. Just that in a busy world, busy life like mine, I always like to take a backseat for a while, and get an overview of my own life. I love to sit down and count my blessings one by one cause it makes me a happy person when I do that. Right now, I’m just very happy to have wonderful girlfriends who understand me.

3 more days of leave to go and then I’m back to running around the wards. Gonna make the most of the rest of my leave catching up with everyone… =) Hopefully I’ll still get to catch my breath in between!

It’s simply awesome going for salsa classes cause it’s when i really get to let down my hair and DANCE!! It’s kinda hard to describe the adrenaline rush that comes with it but when you meet a good partner, it’s like non stop spinning. My fave move is doing the double and triple turns…. shiok!! It’s esp fun if the guy is quick and can think up all sorts of variations, then your feet just seem to go out of control.

But really, partner dancing is not without it’s embarrassing and hazardous moments. I’ve stomped on quite a few people’s toes and when i was just a beginner, i was totally lost. I was like turning in all the wrong directions and i could tell from the look on the guy’s face that he’d rather be hung upside down by his toenails

The coolest thing about it is the number of new friends i’ve made during my 4 months at jitterbugs. I’ve met people from all walks of life, with such colourful personalities. From drummers to lawyers, to NS boys, to fellow medical professionals. Some of these people are about as hard core as I am. We’ll stay back after class just to practice our moves… it seems to be the only way to improve!

And really, it’s amazing how small our world, or at least singapore is. I’ve managed to meet quite a few old classmates/ schoolmates/ friend’s friends at the dance school, it’s crazy! To think I havent met some of these people for donkey years and to finally meet them on the dance floor. But I guess there cannot possibly be a better way to break the ice!

The cute thing about partner dancing is that there’ll always be quite a few real couples in class. It always makes me wonder if someone had to have their ears tweaked before they were coerced into it
Anyhow, I’ve got a secret… well, maybe not so secret desire to do salsa professionally some day. Wonder if I’ll ever have the time for that… it’s addictive i tell you, like some cocaine high. Wish there was some better way for me to share this hobby with all those around me. Sometimes I think I sound like some maniac, the way i run around selling salsa. You’d think i made a living on the dance floor rather than in a hospital!

But I guess we all have something in us that makes us tick - may all around find that rhythm within too!

Never quite realised the importance of health till today. It’s an awful feeling being down and out and insipid… cant think of a better word to describe my current state!

Had a really bad sore throat brewing since thurs last week, then went on call on fri. Calls are absolutely hazardous to one’s health. Woke up with a craoky voice on sat then started dying on sun! I totally lost my voice… laryngitis and pharyngitis. It hurts just to swallow but it’s an amazing way to lose weight. Mus have lost at least 1 kg so far from lack of food :p

Tried going back to work on monday and gee… got myself into a totally embarrassing situation. I had a really bad bout of gastritis which made me really nauseous and dizzy. Had to excuse myself from ward round to drape myself over the toilet bowl- never been drunk enough to puke my guts out before but the nausea must have been comparable. Felt like a complete idiot for even trying to go to work. When my reg saw how green i was she told me to go off and rest. Thank goodness for understanding bosses like her.

Totally concussed after getting home and i mus say, i’m eternally grateful to my ward colleagues cynthia and jason, for covering me. When i messaged them to thank them for covering, they even told me to just rest and get well soon! Gosh… talk about angels

Anyhow, yeah, 7 am in the morning on a tues and i’m still blogging. That’s cause i’m still down and out. The URTI has evolved into a bronchitis. No wheezing but the phlegm’s yellow green now with SOB and coughing fits. Doesn’t help that i’ve got a conjunctivitis on board. If someone were to clerk me like a paeds patient, my history would read

Feeding ~ 50% usual
Activity level ~ 30% usual
Pharynx: injected ++
Right eye conjunctivitis and chemosis

Cant help thinking about all my patients and how frustrated they must be feeling when they’re ill too. Especially those with chronic diseases. It’s very annoying knowing that you have the potential to do so much more when you’re well. It really sucks when your mind is functioning at 100% but your body just wont let you get up and go. It’s easy for me to say “I understand” to my patients when they try to voice their frustrations to me. But do i really understand? Frankly, i dont think I really do. The most i can do is offer them a shoulder to cry on/ send them a smile to try and make their day a little more cheery.

Anyhow, here’s wishing all sickies out there a speedy recovery and a return to 101% functioning levels!!!

10.30am in the morning and my G4 is playing soothing jazz music. Really love this feeling of complete calm and peace.

Almost at the end of my housemanship year and I’ve really changed this year. So many things happened that altered my ideals, perceptions and beliefs. And it crosses all avenues of my life, from work to realtionships to religion. It’s related to the people I’ve met, fellow colleagues, people I’ve dated and my patients. Just saw a nice quote in a mag i was reading ” the world is your classroom”. Just couldn’t agree more with this.

I’ve to confess that some days i can get pretty selfish, forget my lessons and return to my old ways. After the moment passes, I always have to catch myself and sit down to reflect. We are all intelligent people, capable of thinking and analysing. I used to let the days go by and let whatever happens happen. Nowadays, I actually enjoy sitting down and thinking through what is it I want out of life. It’s just too easy to say I dont know because too many people will end up getting hurt. We do have a certain degree of control over life. And that’s what matters, so those around me dont have to suffer repercussions of my actions.

But of course, life is never black and white and not everyone will share my sentiments. There’ll always be broken hearts to mend, arguments to settle, not to mention the unforeseen situations life will throw at us. I’ve been a fortunate child, brought up in a loving family with what some may perceive as an ideal environment. But I’ve come to realise tt life’s not perfect, no one’s perfect, it’s only our ideals that are.

I’m still learning, I’ll probably still be learning when I hit 100 yrs but I’m sure we’ll all be =) So here’s to many more years of loving life and living it.

With LOve *HugZ*

Gong Xi Fa Cai to all!!! it’s CNY again and yes, i’m still receiving ang pow. Almost embarrassed to be taking them. I should be giving them, now that i’m joining the ranks of the oldies!!

It’s been a great start to the lunar new year. Moving to KK was a bit of a struggle cause there were so many new things to learn like how the hospital runs for example. But the up side of it is that i’ve gotten the chance to meet so many new people. With a med class of 230, it’s kinda hard to get to know all my classmates. The fellow housemen in KK are people i’ve never really known but they’re turning out to be a bunch of great people. Not to mention the new friends i’ve made, from nurses to MOs to Regs!

Life is pretty much on the go for me. I’ve come to realise more and more what a hyperactive person i am. Cant seem to sit still for longer than 1 hour. I’m doing salsa dancing now. It’s awesome stuff, all that twirling and spinning. Keeps me on my feet all friday night! I’ve also rejoined a gym, couldn’t afford to let that paunch get any bigger than it already is And that research paper of mine!! gotta get going and finish it … soon!! arghs! haha…. dunno how i managed to trick myself into punging head first into all that!!

U know what’s coolest about all this? there’s a sanctuary right at the heart of it all. A place that i’ve been retreating into to wind down. it’s a stillness and serenity that i’ve never felt before. almost a state of nirvana i’d say =)

gotta run… going visiting now. yup… running around again as usual.

wishing all a very happy and prosperous chinese new year. may you also feel the warmth and happiness that life has to offer…

Whoa… i’m like totally concussed. Got back from work at 2 and promptly fell asleep till dinnertime! what a waste of a beautiful day! but then again, i really really needed the rest. Din sleep a wink last night. All i got was 15 mins of downtime in the call room and a new case of chickenpox came breezing in at 6am. Oh yes, forgot to mention that I’m actually in KK hospital now and seeing little people =) Paeds!

In the mdst of this transition to KK, I’m also renovating my room! Had a spring cleaning spree in my room on sunday and the amount of junk that went out the window was amazing. I never knew I had so much junk in the house! Not to mention the amount of clothes/ shoes/ bags i have. I think I can just about open a little boutique of my own. Had to build a totaly new wardrobe to fit my stuff and am super excited about my new flooring anf everything. Feels like I’m rebuilding my life from scratch cause everything in the room is spanking new =)

Will upload pics of my room once it’s ready but meanwhile, it’s akan datang!

It’s always great catching up with friends. One of my fave pastimes is to meet up and just YAK! I had the best new year’s eve of my life entering 2006. Met up with 3 close friends from med school. It wasn’t like we went crazy trudging down Orchard Rd spraying people with foam and groping them (those people ought to be shot). But we just had some quiet time together catching up.

Dinner was a quiet affair at Balcony, at the Heeren, followed by drinks at Acid Bar. All to the tune of live music at the bar. We even decided to be a little more spendthrift and opened a bottle of white wine! My parents commented before that girls seem to spend more, and seem to know how to live it up more than guys. Everywhere they go the people who are spending are women =)

I know lots of friends who actually dislike this festive season cause it is a lot of shoppin, spending and it’s almost compulsory that you must be happy and enjoy yourself. If you dont, it’s like you’re abnormal or s’thing.

But for me, this period has always been a season of giving and of love. My mom’s birthday is in Dec so my family is always out for lunch and buying gifts for my mom. Dec 18 is my sister’s wedding anniversary and Dec 31st is my parent’s wedding anniversary. With so many special family occasions cramped into the last few days of the year, we always have a lot of fun getting together and celebrating. Eating then becomes a family pastime during this season! But once all that merrymaking is over, it’s time to hit the gym
Unbelievable, but 2005 has just flown by and we’re entering 2006 now. Hari Raya Haji is here already and before you know it, Chinese New Year is gonna be over to!

I was supposed to come up with my new year’s resolutions but Ive been procrastinating… hehe… will sit down to it some time soon. =)

Meanwhile, here’s to a happy Hari Raya Haji to all who are celebrating this festival. May we all have a great 2006!!!!